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Literature Text

Shattered glass
Cutting barefeet
I know this feeling...

Pain of the past
Is all that lives
I remember this...

Seat rolls in beads
Heat dares to kill
It's so familiar...

Time flies, yet won't
Move forward, now
Is this even reality...?

Upon the distance
The sign rises above
'We end were we begin'

"Welcome to Hell"
It reads to all
I'm home again
Partially inspired by a deviant who will probably know he is.
Also partially inspired by another poem that I don't remember the title of... (And I'm kind of too lazy to go search for it...)
© 2014 - 2024 LMW-The-Poet
Comments14
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AnnaBellLee17's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

My thoughts...

How could something that is supposed to be a safe haven be ironic. Humans tend to forget that home can be just like hell at times. Then again, those who know this have experienced this at some point in their lives. As a result, they tend to not trust safe havens again.

This poem makes me think of Mockingjay when Katniss arrives to District 12 to see what exactly happened in person. Like he/ she in the poem, she is having a difficult time grasping this and wrapping her head around it. In many ways, I can see her having these sort of thoughts, since she thought this was all a dream.

This leads me to my next point. When we face our past, we tend to think if this is happening. You want to believe that it is a dream, since the past is sometimes something you want to avoid. Then, you get a hit of realization that you are here, reliving the dreaded past. You must come to accept it, since you want to learn from the mistake of not coming to terms with it.

With acceptance comes healing, which is something that everyone needs. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=":) (Smile)"/>

What I liked...

I first and foremost want to say.... THE VISION WAS FABULOUS! I had a clear, vivid picture when I was reading this. The choice of words helps!

For the originality, you already know this, but it wasn't the most original poem. Although I like the symbolism, I know it is a common 'object' to use. But, I have to say, you did a nice job at using it. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":D" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title=":D (Big Grin)"/>

The technique was great. It was a smart idea to include the thoughts in it, especially the quote near the end. It added to the meaning, which is even better!

As for the impact... you did a fine job. You know how to make it better. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=":) (Smile)"/>

Overall, a great poem that was worthy of my time to read.